The ‘Sandwich’ Generation
- Pooja Sachdev
- Nov 3
- 4 min read
It was 8 a.m. and I was sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s surgery, laptop by my side. My mother was inside, on her 3rd day of radiotherapy. The news of her cancer had barely sunk in, and I hadn’t had time to re-arrange work before her treatment started. I was on the phone with my partner who was with our young children. We were discussing nursery pick-ups and dinner menus, when my emails started pinging.
As I opened and read my messages, a feeling of dread started rising in me. I had completely forgotten about and missed an important telephone appointment with a client half an hour earlier. It had taken weeks to get that appointment, and it was too late to get her back on the phone! It was also very unlike me – I prided myself on being organised and reliable. I panicked, sent out apology emails immediately, then shut my laptop lid and just burst into tears.
Several years have passed since this happened (and my mum is now thankfully fine) but I still vividly remember the guilt and anger (with myself) I felt that day – mixed in with the underlying stress, fatigue and a feeling of being pulled so hard in so many directions that I had completely lost myself.
What is the 'sandwich' generation?
The "sandwich generation" refers to adults who are simultaneously caring for children and aging parents – effectively “sandwiched” between two caregiving responsibilities.
As people are living longer and young adults are struggling to become financially independent, the proportion of adults providing ‘sandwich’ care is growing. A quarter of the adult population is estimated to be in this category, with the majority being in their 40s/50s, a time when many are also at the peak of their careers.
This puts a significant strain not only on physical resources like time and finances, but also on an individual’s emotional wellbeing. It can feel like you are juggling a million different roles (employee, parent, caregiver, spouse), often within the same day, with no time for self-care and the niggling dread of impending grief in the background. It’s exhausting, and a recipe for burnout.
5 coaching Approaches
Working with clients in the ‘sandwich generation’ (or any clients with multiple caring responsibilities) requires sensitivity and understanding of the unique challenges this life stage poses.
It’s not just about the lack of time, but the nature of the demands, which can often feel non-negotiable (like taking a parent to hospital for cancer treatment) – balls that just CANNOT be dropped. So other things might drop instead (like client meetings or self-care).
There’s often no break or ‘holiday’ from being in the caring role, and it comes with a lot of uncertainty and lack of control, which means planning can be tricky. Emotions run high, and grief and stress can be mixed in with guilt, anxiety and compassion fatigue.
Here are a few considerations for coaches who may be supporting people in this life stage:
Prioritizing Self-Care
The coaching session might be the only place your client focusses on themselves. It’s an opportunity to reflect, vent, and find ways to cope.
Encourage your client to engage in little grounding practices to manage stress and build resilience and self-compassion -- even if it’s just for 5 mins a day. Reflecting on what activities bring them joy can be a reminder of who they are (beyond being a carer ‘in relation’ to someone else).
Deeper emotional exploration
Hold space for the complex emotions that can be present, including grief, guilt, and anticipatory loss. If we don’t acknowledge and allow space for these to be explored, other work and goals can feel superficial and ineffective.
Navigating transitions and uncertainty
This is a time of constant change. Children grow, parents age, ailments come and go. Help your client to anticipate ups and downs and build back-up plans. It may be helpful for them to ask for flexible work if the current arrangements are not sustainable, or it may be a career move – all this bearing in mind that the whole set of balls to juggle could be different next year!
Energy management
Time management may feel like a lost cause, so it may be more helpful to reframe this as energy management. Work with clients on prioritisation, boundaries, building routines where possible and setting realistic goals to manage how they spend their physical and emotional energy.
Systemic approach
The challenge of sandwich care is rooted in family systems, so it makes no sense to focus solely on the client’s personal choices. Draw on frameworks from systemic coaching to understand and support clients ‘as a whole’ within their wider familial and cultural context. Thinking systemically will also help your client to identify and tap into support networks, delegate, ask for help and access resources that may be available to them.
Ultimately, coaching clients in the ‘sandwich generation’ is about more than time management or career goals. It’s about enabling individuals – who are spending most of their waking hours being pulled in different directions for others – to find effective and realistic ways to sustain their own emotional wellbeing, energy and engagement with work and life.
NOTE: A version of this article was first published in Coaching Perspectives, the magazine of the Association For Coaching, in October 2025.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Pooja Sachdev is co-author of 'Rewire: A Radical Approach to Tackling Diversity and Difference', published by Bloomsbury and described by the FT as "the most refreshing approach to diversity I have read."
She is a coach, counsellor, consultant, and founder of Rewire Consulting. Specialising in organisational development, diversity & inclusion, and leadership, Rewire helps build positive work cultures that enable people, teams and organisations to fulfill their potential.
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